| Marwadi, who refused to take dowry… |
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| Written by SIFF Admin |
| Wednesday, 22 June 2005 00:00 |
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By Peco Chakravatru In the helpline for the distressed husbands and elders in Bangalore there was call from a young man called Manoj Agarwal. He was interested in meeting us and giving his side of the story of his suffering as a result of misuse of the anti-dowry Laws. We avoided meeting him and stalled him on one pretext or the other. After all, he is not from from a community like Maharshtra, Bengal or Karnataka where the dowry system more or less does not exist. Also, this is the community which is visible in terms of opulent “give and take” of gifts. We also hadn’t seen enough cases/lawsuits at that time and were still brainwashed that false dowry & harassment cases were “exceptions”. This was in spite of repeated citations from respected judges like J.D. KApoor, Justice Saldhana and many police officials.
This man was however highly persistent. After 3 months of effort to get our attention, he finally walked in on to us in shear frustration. This was a handsome yound man of around 32 who came on a Yamaha Bike.
The story was a typical “false 498a case” by his wife with standard allegations thrown in. Most allegations were like his wife was not given food and that on honeymoon she was left alone near a lake but she was able to somehow manage since there was a police station nearby. She also complained that he was demanding Rs 200,000 as dowry etc. The marriage ended after 3 years . One of the volunteers couldn’t control herself and asked point blank, “is n’t it true that Marwaris take dowry ?” He replied,” Yes. it is true. But I am an idealist and I refused to take Dowry”. He is travelling on a motor cycle earned out of his earnings. His parents had shared half of the marriage expenses incurred. The point of contention for the girl was that she was not getting a good lifestyle. She was persistent in wanting a Ford Icon for Travelling since all her friends were travelling in cars but she was not . She was ready and more then eager to ask her parents to provide with a Ford ICON. Her parents abused him when he & his parents refused to accept any large gifts from her parents. His wife would constantly pressurise him for for money and lifestyle which was not possible in his earnings. Finally, after 3 years of bickering over lifestyle the wife walked out and filed a false dowry harassment case on him. His case was three and half years old when he met us and after another 3 months he was acquitted. We went through all the material presented and used the AMMA Technique ( Assertion Material Methodology of Analysis). It was clear that the whole case was bogus since all the material evidences were in favour of Manoj. Manoj met us again after his acquittal. He is doing a degree in Law with an intention to dispense justice in favour of decent people like him. Manoj mentioned that his friends were actually teasing him about of his idealism for not taking dowry. They mentioned that they received cars, other articles as gifts and are living happily because their wives’s lifestyle was satisfied, where as he being an idealist did not demand and in stead refused dowry when he was offered and yet suffered under the draconian law. He also told that a false Dowry suit is a common fate of his Marwari friends who do not take and refuse dowry, because it takes times to build up money for lifestyle demands of the wife and most Marwari wives wants to have instant luxaries. According to SOWRY Harassment article written by me earlier, this ruthlessness for lifestyle demands from others is universal amongst most women. These raise disturbing questions.
Was Manoj wrong in refusing Dowry ? Are there women who would be ready to wait for lifestyle needs without expecting either her father or husband to provide for all the life’s luxaries ? Are the ends of Justice sufficiently met by just an acquittal ? |