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PRESS RELEASE: SIFF Demands No Arrests No Maintenance in Marital Disputes

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Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) is a non-funded non-profit NGO fighting for men’s rights, Gender Equality and Family Harmony by creating awareness against the misuse of anti-male laws like Section 498A (the dowry law), the Domestic Violence Act, and the various Maintenance laws etc. which are systematically breaking down the family system of India and perpetrating state sponsored abuse against men.

It is pertinent to note that in the last 65 years of Indian Independence neither a single rupee has ever been allocated for men’s welfare nor has a single Constitutional/Academic body ever been formed to study the problems faced by men let alone addressing them.

This emptiness has led SIFF to do research on men’s problems, talk to the victimized men,  understand their pain, collect data and statistics related to men’s abuse and create awareness  about them. SIFF has been doing this research since the last 8 years. Also SIFF and its allied NGOs all over India, have been engaging in various awareness campaigns to create awareness of men’s issues through media, internet blogs and road protests.

The Problem:

One of the major problems that men face around marriages is criminalization of marital disputes. Every relationship has its own share of ups and downs, incompatibilities. However, it is being observed that with every year passing it is becoming a fashion for the wife’s family to threaten husband’s family of false dowry cases and false maintenance cases if the demands of the wife and/or her family are not met by husband and/or his family.

Marital disputes are being used an excuse to convert bad marriages into false criminal cases based on false allegations of physical torture and dowry demand by husband towards the wife.

Police Atrocities:

  1. Even the police are hand-in-glove with the wife’s family. When a wife approaches a police station, promptly an FIR under section 498A IPC is lodged and husband and his family is summoned to the police station under the pretext of counseling.
  2. While even though the police is not authorized to conduct marital counseling, it attempts to do so and uses the excuse to threaten husband and his family to bow down before his wife’s demands else face false cases.
  3. Husband is subjected to psychological and emotional torture (even physical at times) so that he breaks down and surrenders to the demand of his wife, which mostly revolves around giving huge sums of money and/or property to wife to “settle” the matter.
  4. Nowadays, it is being observed that the police is even going to offices where the husband works in order to defame him and try to arrest him without an arrest warrant, without showing him the complaint copy and completely violating Section 41(1)(a) of the amended CrPC as per The CrPC Amendment Act, 2010.
  5. As per this amendment, for all crimes punishable less than seven years of imprisonment, the accused must first be served with “Notice of Appearance”. If the accused does not comply with it, only then the police can arrest them. However, the police would be required to conduct thorough investigation prior to that on the complaint received, examine evidences presented, get an arrest warrant issued and record the reasons, as to why the accused was unable to comply with the “Notice of Appearance”.
  6. But, as we examine the cases of harassment of men that come to us, we find that the police do none of this. Instead, they either call the husband on his mobile repeatedly to threaten him to come to police else face dire consequences, or create social pressure on him by going to his office and endangering his job. All this happens at the instance of an unverified and uninvestigated complaint.

Inefficient Judiciary:

  1. The Indian judiciary is also no less an evil in tormenting husband and his family in order to “Break” him so that he bows down before his wife’s demand which mostly revolve around getting a divorce after the husband pays “Extortion Amount” under the cute name of “Alimony” to the tune of millions and crores at times.
  2. It is not a rare occurrence for a husband to be asked in court, “How much are you willing to pay to your wife to close the case?”
  3. While, the husband knows he is innocent and the case lodged against him is false and the more he tries to run the case on merits, the more is his harassment. The commonest form of harassment is in the form of maintenance orders slapped against the husband.
  4. Even if the wife is working, but if husband is not able to prove her employment, then courts make no efforts to ascertain the same on their own even when they have been given immense powers to do so.
  5. As soon as the case is filed, the husband is gifted with an “interim maintenance order” which is decided even before looking into the merits of the case. Once, this order is passed, the cases drag on for years. While, the poor husband keeps running from pillar to post trying to prove his innocence before an insensitive judiciary, the wife enjoys the husband’s hard-earned money and uses his own money against him.
  6. Women, deliberately leave their jobs just to get maintenance from husband and the maintenance ordered is nothing less than 20K – 30K per month. Women, also hide their source of income in order to present themselves as “Destitute” before the court in order to get maintenance. They even go to the extent of shedding crocodile tears in courts to overrule evidence analysis and more often than not judges pass orders based on emotions and social mindset rather than logic and facts on record.
  7. The Indian Judiciary has failed to set examples by punishing women who lie in court whereas the judges are behooved to do so.

The Consequences:

As a result of this anti-male bias in the legal system, men live under a lot of stress in marriages and as soon as their marriage is on rocks, they start fearing that their life is over. Added to that, social mindsets do not welcome a whining man as he is termed as “loser” and that he is not “man enough” to make his marriage work. Due to such language, the entire blame and responsibility of the marriage falls on the poor husband who finds no avenue helpful to him.

Exasperated, frustrated and horrified, many a men take recourse to ending their lives, a fact which is corroborated by the suicide figures published by the Union Home Ministry year after year.

In the year 2011, 62433 husbands committed suicides compared to 32582 wives. A cursory glance at the previous years establishes the trend.

Year Husband Suicides Wife Suicides
2010 61453 31754
2009 58192 31300
2008 57639 30224
2007 57593 30064
2006 55452 29869
2005 52483 28188

 Source: http://ncrb.nic.in/adsi/main.htm

 Also, as per analysis by the Union Home Ministry, domestic violence is the number one reason of suicides for both men and women alike. As the numbers of married men committing suicide is almost double the number of married women committing suicides, it is very clear that men are currently unprotected in marriages.

 The Clarion Call:

 Realizing the gravity of the situation, Save Indian Family Foundation makes a clarion call on the 19th of January 2013 calling upon men and women alike to participate in a peaceful protest March from Town Hall Bangalore to Mysore Bank Circle. The protest will begin at 9:30 AM in the morning from Town Hall and shall end at 2:00 PM at Mysore Bank Circle.

The theme of the protest is “No Arrest, No Maintenance in Marital Disputes” along with the following demands placed before the Govt. of India:

  1. Stop arresting innocent men and their families without investigation and trial in dowry cases.
  2. Stop forcing men to maintain their estranged wives who approach court with unclean hands and fabricated desertion stories.
  3. Sensitize the police and judiciary with the problems faced by men.
  4. Treat husbands with dignity and integrity in marital disputes.
  5. Form state wise and national commission of men to study problems faced by men in India.
  6. Institute a Men’s Welfare Ministry to implement welfare schemes specifically targeted towards men and to create pro-male laws.
  7. Stop treating husbands as FREE ATM MACHINES.
  8. Protect men and their families from abusive wives and false dowry and domestic violence cases.
  9. Take necessary steps to reduce suicides by men.
  10. Take necessary steps not to project men negatively in media.

 Similar protests will also be held in Kolkata, Hyderabad, Mumbai and Nagpur on the same day with the same theme and same demands.

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  • Yesterday’s TOI front page, In bold there is a mention that the stupid indian government is planning to amend a new divorce law that will enforce and entail the wife to equal rights on all the assets owned by the husband and also the assets that he may inherit or is part of his inheritance. What crap is all this, why is no one doing anything, writing on forums such as this and discussing amongst ourselves is not going to help us in any way. Useless indian government is not capable of enforcing the existing laws, why the fu… are they coming up with new laws? more loop holes, more power to the filthy, rich, characterless and slu…. woman, who will misuse these laws even more to an extent no educated man will marry in the future, leading to more rapes and exploitation of woman. Idiotic government is not looking things on the long run, jobless monkeys want to do something nonsense just for the sake of it. The helpless, really affected woman are not even aware of such laws and will never ever make use of these laws, it will always be the rich bit…. who will make wrong use of these laws to their benefits and enjoy fuc… life around with their lovers more bravely and in full open. Don’t know what more to write, frustration will one day drive people to do mad things, till then the fuc… govt will sit and make merry.

  • hi dont worry i need to know ur casr in detail.u can call me at 9738167933

  • kindly help me/advice me.

    My wife left me with my daughter(2 years age) since last 9 months and staying in her native place also not replying back.

    i am missing my daughter very much.

    Kindly give me advice.

    Shanker
    09883073131

  • Hi,

    If we discuss in email or on facebook or in blogs can only help 1% to solve the problem. congress decided to kill hindu culture family system in India to so that their party will survive in long run. start spreading anti hindu anti india acts doing by congress. and do dharnas that can halt public life in major cities rail roko, jail baro, city bandh bus bundh, schools bandh gather lakhs of victims in one place show the power of people like nirbhaya students gethering in delhi….wakeup and save yourself and future of your childrens, grand children, your culture and your country

  • I am in UK and I married a girl (working IT industry) from Bangalore.
    I didn’t demand dowry from my wife. She was putting huge demands like to buy car & house.
    Even though I live in UK, I am not able to afford all the money and I have already spent for marriage expenses.
    She was harassing me by asking to send money for her mother (she was widow and getting pension too) who lives in India.
    once she tried to attack by pressurizing my neck once. I didn’t give police complaint as I will lose my family and my values will go away. I was tolerating this to greater extent.

    one day she called police to warn me in UK and she left UK after 2 weeks. Since she left to India, I kept calling her to join me in UK. She refused to come back whenever I spoke over phone.

    After a year, I came to know she had intention to come back to get the forced signature
    (Divorcing on behalf of me so that she can claim huge alimony). I cancelled her visa on her arrival to UK.
    She was to go back to India.

    After She went there, she put a divorce case for 50 Lakh alimony and asking 50,000 as interim maintenance.

    Later, she came to know, I am not going to come to India as she already threatened to put a police case against me.

    Now she is harassing our aged mother and brother.

    I am in Touch with Lawyer.

    To attend case hearing, I need to go there. I am afraid she will trouble me once I land in India.

    Can anyone help me to how can I go to India to attend case and come back to UK?

    I made a mistake in my life by marrying city woman without inquiring about her and her family. Now the whole family and her relatives behind this alimony. Hearings are not yet started.

  • Hi,

    I and my family have been falsely charged with 498a, 420, 406, 34. Lawyer advices me to file a divorce, and after filing we would put condition, stating that if the other party withdraws the 498a, 406, 420 and 34 only the we would fight/sign the divorce.

    At times, when i hear what my lawyer is suggestions, I feel that she is talking in favor of opposite party’s.

    Need urgent help. also suggest me how to go about the same. whom should i approach so that i could get a fast and speedy justice.

    Rajesh

  • Dear friend Anand, I am also going thorough the same problem. My wife reached my officer’s house and showed his wife marks of beating which I do not know about. Now I am not going to my office since last two months and is living with my parents and my wife is living in govt quarter allotted to me. She is enjoying her life in Shimla and I am going through mental torture and pressure from my office for compromise or else they will send police to my house. I am thinking of suicide. but it will not change anything for my wife. Now I decided that I will fight for my right of living and will face her. Let me take the challenge. I can only suggest you to keep your job safe else it will be very difficult to live in this country.

  • this is nitin,i am from dehradun..
    i need ur help…
    heres my full story..
    i got married to this girl, we came across via a matromony site in 2011…my parents were against because our kundlis did”nt match..
    she hails from kanpur..we got married in jaipur arya samaj in feb 2012…
    i am a marine engg..we stayed in delhi after marriage..before also her attitude was a bit psychic..like picking a fght with auto rickshaw walla..cursing people for no reason..but i thought that would change after marriage..her father died in 2005 because of some mental illness…
    but when things went out of control and she would always curse me and my family.,when ever i wanted to go home she would bring out knife and nailcutter..
    things became too much for me when she thraetened me that she will send me and my parents behind bars it was in oct 2012…while i was in lucknow
    .it became too much for me..and in nov 2012 i filed a divorce in delhi..
    from june 2012 she was staying in lucknow with her mother on a rented house…
    in april i came to know that she has filed 125 and 498 in which she has named my parents ,sis and brother in law..
    in fir she has stated that she was beaten up in my house after she came to dehradun just after marriage and also things like my family attended the marriage,all of which are fake
    we went to high court in lucknow and they reffered us to mediation centre..
    but the mediator behaves as if i have committed a sin by being a male…her attitude has not changed a bit…and for her what ever i have done was wrong..
    i have enough proof how was her attitude..(chat on skype while i was on ship)/..also she has forged and obc certificate so that she can appear for upsc(ias)..this would be her 6 attempt, also she hacked into my sisters mail account..and posted a mail on her facebook account…
    n now on last meeting i came to know that she has managed to get a false medical certificate…
    i dont know what to do…my 60 year old father is suffering because of me..he is a heart patient..and now he is also running from pillar to post…
    she has got someone who retired as ig or dig from up…and also someone who was CMO allahand (i met this guy)..
    with the kind of attitude she has it is not possible for me to live with her…and i dont feel ki i will get justice in lucknow..
    please help me out..what to do..i have hired a top lawyer in lucknow but frankly they all seems to be after my money(police officer …IO….lawyer)…and i am just fed up of our bullshit system..
    help me out…

  • Hi,

    I was married last year May 13th 2012, It was an arranged marriage. The Girl was from Kerala and me from Bangalore.
    I work for an MNC company and I earn enough to lead a standard life and sometime try to work out really hard to have both the ends meet due to my loans and other family responsibility after my father passed away after a month of my marriage.
    All I wanted is a wife who could understand and support me in my decision and stay with me till my death. Little did I know that the family that I am getting into was a maniac family which literally wanted to separate me from my family and all they wanted is to see how they could get rich.
    I am under going a great stress which makes me feel like committing suicide at times however I am kind of consoling myself because I am the only source for my Family now.
    I don’t want my Mother or Sister who is married and settled break down because of my weird decision to end my life.
    I let my Wife stay back at Kerala till November for pursuing her studies, even with small issues that was caused in between via phone calls and msgs I and my family believed that everything is going to be fine after she is back, she was back in December and from that time she was trying to gain sympathy in front of my Mom, Sister, Brother in Law and Neighbors to go against me by creating issues with me so that I tend to scold her in front of everyone and she makes her way through in being clean in front of everyone by their support and later part me from my family and take me away to Kerala so that I could stay with her family and be like the other guys in their family who is all separated from their parents. Now that didn’t work she had no other option but to walk out of the house with her Dad and some dumb family members who accompanied her Dad in getting her out of the house. When she left the house she told she would be back in a weeks time,but than she had taken all her clothes, jewelry and documents that she had got from her house and also returned the ring that I had gifted her while going. When she left she spoke about Divorce and also informed that if she gets back in a week she will accept the ring that i had gifted if not I can keep that with me.

    It’s been more than a Month, she hasn’t responded to my messages nor did her so called Family Members from Bangalore has responded to my messages or Phone Calls.
    I don’t want to go there because I had clearly specified that it was not my decision and whoever takes her will have to get her back.
    However the inner news is that she is joined a job there and is been spreading news that I am impotent. Also earlier when my Brother in law had spoken to her Dad he had specified that his daughter had informed him that we did not have any sort of Physical Relationship which is not true.
    The other reason why I am writing this to you is because I have been harassed sexually by my MIL on the second day of the marriage, this is the main reason why I don’t like staying at my in-laws house and moreover mentally disturbed.

    Please tell me what I need to do, I don’t want to divorce her because today she is with her Parent’s but after they are gone and after her Brother’s Marriage she would be left alone and would not have a house to go. I am confused and I don’t know if my decision is right or wrong.

  • hi,
    i m victim of 498/125 n few more cases. wife left home just after 3 months after marriage i tried to call her back for 4month but she did not return back. her father n family was asking 5 lakh rs just after she left.now they file cases. wife took all jewellary with her when she left home, including jewel given by me to her worth 1 lakh rs. now she is asking for 2.5 lakh rs for settlement our lawyer is suggesting same thing saying we will face problem and will have to give maintenance which will be quite high considering my package. but i dont want give single rupee to such wife who left home abuse us and even threatened us.plz suggest somehting i have proof of photograph which can proof that she was staying happily here with my family. plz help. i have already loose 60K in court matter till now n m from lower middle class family somehow just got good job

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